MISSED OUR LATEST SHOW? Podcasts of The Women's Eye Radio Show are NOW available on iTunes. Check them out and if you like, leave us a review. Click Here
 

Search Results for: jane heller

New TWE Radio: Bestselling Author Jane Heller On Her Caregiver’s Survival Guide

Jane Heller – New York Times Bestselling Author

Jane Heller – New York Times Bestselling Author

Jane Heller – New York Times Bestselling Author

The Women's Eye Radio on iTunesNEW INTERVIEW WITH HOST STACEY GUALANDI!

Don’t miss the BRAND NEW talk on The Women’s Eye Radio as Stacey Gualandi chats with New York Times bestsellng author Jane Heller about her invaluable book on caregiving,  You’d Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You–A Caregiver’s Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits.

twe-radio-jane-heller | Jane Heller | The Women's Eye Magazine and Radio Show

Jane Heller

twe-radio-dont-die-or-ill-kill-you | Jane Heller | The Women's Eye Magazine and Radio Show

“You’d Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You”

Stacey catches up with Jane, one of our featured 20 WOMEN CHANGEMAKERS, to give us an update on her caregiving journey and mission to help people who find themselves caring for a loved one and needing advice.

Jane decided to write this unique survival guide when she was faced with her chronically ill spouse’s ongoing medical condition and saw how little information was available.

She calls the ever-increasing need for support a “silver tsunami.” Her book continues to be a bible for people confronting the challenges, stresses and strain of caregiving for loved ones.

20 Women Changemakers Book | Jane Heller | The Women's Eye Magazine & Radio ShowWriting this book was a big departure for Jane, who is the author of 16 novels of romantic comedy including her most recent one Three Blonde Mice. She continues to lecture on healthcare and urges readers to feel free to contact her at janeheller.com if they need advice or have questions.

To read more about Jane, you can find her story in our book on Amazon.

Listen to more TWE Interviews on: 

The Women’s Eye Radio on iTunes.

Jane Heller Q&A

The Women's Eye Events LogoLAGNIAPPE (SOMETHING EXTRA!) FOR THE WOMEN’S EYE COMMUNITY
Jane Heller’s Follow-up Q&A: Tips for Caregivers

Jane Heller graciously agreed to answer the questions we did not get to during our TWE TelEvent: Tips for Caregivers: From Someone Who’s Been There. Here they are.

Slide from TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller on Tips for Caregivers: How to Be a Good Patient AdvocateQ: Discharges happen so suddenly and often I’ve felt like my mother was not at all ready to go home. How do you get the doctors and nurses to listen to you because I know when she’s discharged too soon, we’ll be right back in the Emergency Room? —Anonymous

Jane Heller: The sad truth is that many hospitals are under pressure these days to discharge patients to free up rooms/beds. But if you truly feel that your mother is not getting adequate care while in the hospital or being shuttled out the door too quickly, speak up. No doubt there is one lead doctor on the case, and you should sit down with him/her and ask your questions about your mother’s health.

If he/she is too busy and on the run, you can ask, “When would be a good time to talk? May we have a consultation?” Most doctors will agree to that. Have your list of questions – no more than three or four – written down in advance so you don’t waste time, and ask them. If there are other questions, you should give those to the nurse and see if she can get answers. But don’t ask in a confrontational tone. Keep your emotions in check for your mother’s sake. Good luck and thanks for the question.

 

Q: How much do you need to know before taking on a caregiving role? —Pat

Jane Heller:  Knowledge is power, so while your role as caregiver will constantly evolve as a loved one’s condition changes over time, you should familiarize yourself with the medical condition of the person you’ll be caring for. Read everything you can about the condition. Learn about symptoms, medications, possible complications. And then go to the hospital or nursing home where you’ll be spending time, and get comfortable with the systems there.

I have a chapter in my book about navigating the emergency room and I learned a lot. If appropriate, I encourage you to read it. (I didn’t understand, for example, that every hospital ER has a triage system and what it entails.) Most of all, what you need to know is that caregiving is hard, demanding work, both emotionally and physically, and you need to take care of yourself while you’re doing it. And you need to remember that you won’t be alone; there are over 65 million of us out there with many, many support groups to help. Good luck and thanks for the question.

 ~ Did you miss the Replay? If so, click HERE ~

Q: How do you find good in-home caregivers and get them on-board quickly? I just learned they want to send my Dad home in 2 days and he needs 24-hr care for awhile! —Anonymous

Jane Heller: Every hospital (if that’s where your father is) has a social worker whose job it is to help you reach out to local home healthcare workers. So ask at the hospital and get references and then call them and see how you feel about their responses. Perhaps your father’s doctor’s office has suggestions as well.

Another idea is to speak to a nurse or nurse’s aide who’s been particularly helpful during your father’s stay. One of the caregivers I interviewed in my book said his wife bonded with a nurse’s aide at the hospital, so he asked this aide if she’d be willing to come to their house on a freelance basis and continue caring for his wife after she was discharged. The aide ended up staying for weeks and became so close to the family that she attended the daughter’s wedding. So my advice is ask, ask, ask. Good luck and thanks for the question.

 

Slide from TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller on Tips for Caregivers: How to Keep Your Sanity

Q: I am a part-time caregiver, but sometimes when I go off to work I feel I am abandoning the person I am caring for. Is this normal? —Tom

Jane Heller: Oh, Tom. What you’re feeling is so normal, believe me. I have a chapter in my book about the conflict most of us experience when we have to divide our time between our work and our caregiving. In my case, I felt torn because I needed to keep my daily writing schedule going in order to meet my deadline, but I also needed to be with my husband Michael when he was in the hospital.

What I learned is that we’ll burn out in a hurry if we let this sort of emotional conflict get the better of us. We simply can’t be in two places at once emotionally and if we try, we fail at both jobs, work as well as caregiving, because we’re not really present for either. So the trick is to compartmentalize. When you’re caregiving, be there 100%. And when you go to work, be there 100%. And remember that you’re not alone and your feelings are completely normal and go with the territory. Good luck and thanks for the question.

 

~ Would you like to write to Jane directly? Click HERE to contact her on her website. ~

TWE-Event-Heller-Slide-HealthQ: How can you get the relief from the constant caregiving when other family members either can’t or don’t help? —Anonymous

Jane Heller:  You must get relief, cooperative family members or not. If you go down, there won’t be anyone to do the caregiving, so your emotional and physical health are of major importance. Don’t think of taking days or weeks away if that’s not possible. Look at it in 20 minutes intervals. Is there someone who can look after your loved one for 20 minutes? A friend? A neighbor? A member of a support group? If so, grab those 20 minutes and get a bit of exercise, have a haircut, see a friend – something just for yourself.

If you absolutely can’t take 20 minutes away from the house or facility, then at least take them inside, in another room. Watch a movie. Read a book. Do some deep breathing. Soak in a hot tub. We all need “mental vacations,” as I call our little escapes. They help prevent caregiver burnout and I urge you to take one and soon. Good luck and thanks for the question.

 

Comment from a Listener (and Jane’s response below):

Thank you for attending the TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller: Tips for CaregiversI am a cancer survivor. In 1998 and 48 years old, my father, 84 was diagnosed with prostate cancer and mother 77, with severe depression. A close family, my 3 brothers and I had never discussed with our parents their wishes regarding their health and well-being. As doctor and ER visits for both became more frequent, the relentless pressure and setbacks made it impossible for me to continue FT work.

Eventually I resigned the job I truly loved as Activities Director in a senior retirement community. Restoring my parents to good health became my number one priority. I would come to represent the ‘silver tsunami’, helping my daughter raise my grandson while simultaneously signing on as full time caregiver and patient advocate for my parents.

Listening to Jane speak so eloquently, the entire 14 years unfolded like a sad song; being thrust into the role, freaking out, keeping emotions in check. Laughter is a staple in our family and it became MY best medicine. If I was happy, mom and dad were happy. Yet I had my share of depression/anxiety/guilt and ER visits.

In time I came to recognize that knowledge IS power! In exam rooms/hospital settings with my parents, I learned doctor/nurse protocol and became my parent’s voice. Latinas are expected to care for their aging parents, sibling responsibility HA!, and my brothers lived in town but were instead, ‘armchair caregivers’ and nursing homes were out of the question. Exhausted from asking for help, I did it ALL; doctor visits, labs, ER, finances, groceries, cleaning, bathing, cooking, the list is endless and my journey long and arduous. Yet, I knew God had a plan and purpose for my life and I’m eternally grateful.

In 2012 my 58 year old brother passed away from undiagnosed Hep C. The week before he died, he apologized tirelessly thanking me through his tears, for caring for our parents, ’I should have helped you. We were supposed to grow old together sister’. It was heart-wrenching. We were at peace. My oldest brother 71 continues to live on Mars.

Our mother 92, passed away at home on Labor Day last year, a combination of congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease and complications from a fractured hip. She too was entering stage 4 Alzheimer’s. One month after her death, I courageously and guilt-free, passed the caregiving reigns to my youngest brother, 53. ‘I cared for our mother until the end and I’m exhausted. It’s your turn to care for dad’.

With pause (he was well aware of the major changes lying ahead) he moved Pop in with him and his wife and made the renovations needed. Dad happily celebrated his 100th birthday last month! He remains in good health and is an avid ‘slow’ walker (with his walker) and enjoys chair exercises but refuses to give up his beef chorizo and flour tortillas! After 72 years of marriage he misses mom dearly yet loves living with his son, ‘I’m happy here and my son takes good care of me.’ Music to my ears! I support any decisions my brother makes regarding our father and agreed to continue taking him to doctor appointments and out for breakfast/lunch weekly.

Yesterday was 6 months since my rotator cuff surgery I’d been postponing for a year to care for my mother. I’m FINALLY completing my manuscript on the ‘office visit’ I started in 2007 with book release in August. My goal moving forward is to teach caregiver workshops on ‘sibling involvement’ from diagnosis onset and the sharing of responsibilities. The ‘women’ caring for parents for THIS Latina stops with my generation!!! I’ve compiled my own wishes on paper and my daughter is aware that she is solely responsible for her 16 year old son, not her mother, PERIOD! My only request, ‘Just place me in the home that’s laughing the loudest!’

Thank you, thank you, ‘The Women’s Eye’ for today teaching us to ‘always look for the silver lining in caregiving!’ Priceless information and dialogue coupled with Jane’s wit, I’m heading to my independent bookstore to purchase ‘Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You!’ Huggz to Jane, Stacey and C(S)beryl!

Jane Heller: First of all, I’m in awe of how much you’ve grown as a caregiver and what a journey you’ve taken! Bravo! You’ve taken on so much, and yet you’ve figured out how to move from the freak-out, the exhaustion, the guilt, all of it, to a place where your dad is doing well in your oldest brother’s care. And you’ve certainly come to appreciate the beauty of laughter and how it gets us through.

Thank you for sharing your remarkable story and for participating in The Women’s Eye’s TelEvent. It makes my day to know you related to my anecdotes and tips. Finding silver linings during difficult times isn’t easy, but it sure helps us keep our sanity. If you do buy my book (it’s available as an ebook too, if you’re a tablet user and your local store doesn’t stock the physical book), please write to my web site and let me know how you liked it. Take care.

 

TWE TelEvent: LIVE Q&A With Jane Heller-Essential Tips for Caregivers

Logo: Announcing The Women's Eye Events

Yes, it’s our FIRST EVENT and we wanted to invite you…

Join us via the Web, your phone, or Skype
10 AM Pacific Time Thursday, May 29th
for a FREE, LIVE Interview and Q&A session with:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author and long-time caregiver

JANE HELLER
How to Be the Best Caregiver and Still Take Care of You

Jane Heller, New York Times bestselling author with her book, "You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You"

TWE Radio host, Stacey Gualandi, will be interviewing Jane, the author of her Caregiver’s Survival Guide, You’d Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You, (what she says to her husband Michael before he goes into surgery). Then we’ll open it up for your questions.

Jane’s written 13 romantic comedies, so you know she’s got a great sense of humor, but she was also catapulted into the world of caregiving when she met and married her husband, who has had more than thirty surgeries for Crohn’s Disease.

In this webinar, Jane will share her tips about:

  • How to Be the Best Patient Advocate for Your Loved One
  • How to Keep Your Sanity
  • How to Maintain Your Health

Click to Register

See Jane’s terrific book trailer on this page along with all of the details for this event including:

  • How to join us by the Web, your phone, or Skype
  • How the teleconference works (it’s simple!)
  • How you can ask your questions ahead of time as well as during the event
  • How to register for the replay in case you can’t make the live event

If you want to Register Now, just click the button!

Click to Register

Warm regards,
Pam, Cheryl and The Women’s Eye Team

P.S. Please pass this on to others you think would like to attend.

TWE TelEvent: LIVE Q&A with Jane Heller: Essential Tips for Caregivers-NM

The Women's Eye Events Logo

We’d like to invite you to join us for a Free, LIVE interview and Q&A session with
bestselling author and long-time caregiver, Jane Heller, and TWE Radio host, Stacey Gualandi.

Thursday, May 29th, 10:00-10:45 am Pacific Time
(1:00 pm Eastern, 12 noon Central, 11:00 am Mountain)
Accessible by the Web, your phone or Skype

 

TWE TelEvent on Tips for Caregivers with Jane Heller, interviewed by TWE Radio Host Stacey Gualandi65 million people in the U.S. alone are caregivers for loved ones or friends. It’s easy to lose your way as you negotiate the tricky terrain of dealing with the nurses and doctors, the ER, the home health care issues and sibling rivalry, let alone your own feelings about the changes in your life.

Enter Jane Heller. With more than twenty years’ experience as a caregiver of her husband, Michael (and being a popular author of 13 romantic comedies), Jane wrote a survival guide for caregivers, You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You (what she says to Michael before he goes into surgery).

In this webinar, Jane will share with us some of her most important tips and strategies for how you can be the best patient advocate for your loved one and still take care of your health and your sanity. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to ask Jane your questions before and during the event. We’ll take as many as we can during the call.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

 

Here’s a great taste of Jane from her book trailer for You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You:

 

We’re excited about this online event. We want to give you access to the incredible people we’ve interviewed at The Women’s Eye who have expertise, tools and information that will help you take advantage of great opportunities that come to you and successfully meet the challenges you face.

Would you like to know about future events at The Women’s Eye?
Sign up to get our latest updates here. (It’s Free)

FAQs

How Does This TelEvent Work?

It’s easy. You can access it LIVE on your computer from the comfort of your own home or from your phone or Skype.

If you’re at your computer, you’ll just click on the web address we’ll send you. If you want to join us by phone or Skype, there will be a telephone number you can dial.

Please note: our space is limited by our event hosting company, so please register now to participate.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

Still Have Questions?

Here are more helpful FAQs:

Q: What is a TelEvent:

A: It’s like an online seminar. Once you register, we will send you a link you can click on your computer or smartphone where you will be able to listen to Jane and Stacey, watch a streaming video of Jane’s slides, and enter your questions for Jane. We’ll give you simple instructions during the call. There will also be a telephone number you can dial if you want to join us by phone.

Q: It’s Free. What’s the catch?

A: NO CATCH! This first TelEvent is sponsored by The Women’s Eye. We wanted to share it with you, get our feet wet, and we’d love your feedback to help us improve as we will be doing more of these in the future.

Yes, there will be a fee for future events, as the The Women’s Eye Online Magazine, Radio Show and TelEvents require significant time, people and expertise to maintain them and grow. To learn more about our future events, get our latest updates here.

Q: What is the date and time?

A: The LIVE TelEvent will take place on Thursday, May 29th, from 10:00-10:45 am Pacific Time (1:00 pm Eastern, 12 noon Central, 11:00 am Mountain). Make sure to add this to your calendar! 

Q: How can I access the LIVE seminar?

A: Once you register, we will send you a link and password to the TelEvent. At the time of the seminar (or even 10 minutes beforehand, is even better), click on the link and add your passcode. Then you’re in!

Q: I can’t make the LIVE webinar. Will there be a recording?

A: Yes, you will be sent a link by email to the replay after the TelEvent.

Q: How do I ask a question for Jane to answer during the call?

A: You’ll see on the page a box where you can type in the question. We will give you instructions during the seminar. We’ll do our best to answer as many questions as possible during the LIVE seminar.

Q: Can I submit my question for Jane before the call?

A: Sure. You can send them to us by email here.

Q: Do I need any special equipment?

A: No. Nothing special is needed.

Q: When do I get access information after I register?

A: After you register, you’ll be sent an email with the information, and a reminder email before the call. Please be patient if you don’t hear from us immediately. If you don’t hear within an hour or so, you can send us an email by clicking here.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

TWE TelEvent: How to Be the Best Caregiver and Still Take Care of You with Jane Heller

The Women's Eye Events Logo

We’d like to invite you to join us for a free, LIVE interview and Q&A session with
bestselling author and long-time caregiver, Jane Heller, and TWE Radio host, Stacey Gualandi.

Thursday, May 29th, 10:00-10:45 am Pacific Time
(1:00 pm Eastern, 12 noon Central, 11:00 am Mountain)
Accessible by the Web, your phone or Skype

 

TWE TelEvent on Tips for Caregivers with Jane Heller, interviewed by TWE Radio Host Stacey Gualandi65 million people in the U.S. alone are caregivers for loved ones or friends. It’s easy to lose your way as you negotiate the tricky terrain of dealing with the nurses and doctors, the ER, the home health care issues and sibling rivalry, let alone your own feelings about the changes in your life.

Enter Jane Heller. With more than twenty years’ experience as a caregiver of her husband, Michael (and being a popular author of 13 romantic comedies), Jane wrote a survival guide for caregivers, You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You (what she says to Michael before he goes into surgery).

In this webinar, Jane will share with us some of her most important tips and strategies for how you can take care of YOU–your sanity and your health–and be the best advocate for your loved ones. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to ask Jane your questions. She’ll answer questions LIVE, and we’ll take as many as we can during the call.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

 

Here’s a great taste of Jane from her book trailer for You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You:

 

We’re excited about this online event. We want to give you access to the incredible people we’ve interviewed at The Women’s Eye who have expertise, tools and information that will help you take advantage of great opportunities that come to you and successfully meet the challenges you face.

How Does This TelEvent Work?

It’s easy. This TWE TelEvent is FREE. You can access it LIVE on your computer from the comfort of your own home or from your phone or Skype.

If you’re at your computer, you’ll just click on the web address we’ll send you. If you want to join us by phone or Skype, there will be a telephone number you can dial.

Please note: our space is limited by our event hosting company, so please register now to participate.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

Still Have Questions?

Here are some helpful FAQs:

Q: What is a TelEvent:

A: It’s like an online seminar. Once you register, we will send you a link you can click on your computer or smartphone where you will be able to listen to Jane and Stacey, watch a streaming video of Jane’s slides, and enter your questions for Jane. We’ll give you simple instructions during the call. There will also be a telephone number you can dial if you want to join us by phone.

Q: It’s Free. What’s the catch?

A: NO CATCH! This first TelEvent is sponsored by The Women’s Eye. We wanted to share it with you, get our feet wet, and we’d love your feedback to help us improve as we will be doing more of these in the future.

Yes, there will be a fee for future events, as the The Women’s Eye Online Magazine, Radio Show and TelEvents require significant time, people and expertise to maintain them and grow. We’ll tell you more about this later.

Q: What is the date and time?

A: The LIVE TelEvent will take place on Thursday, May 29th, from 10:00-10:45 am Pacific Time (1:00 pm Eastern, 12 noon Central, 11:00 am Mountain). Make sure to add this to your calendar! 

Q: How can I access the LIVE seminar?

A: Once you register, we will send you a link and password to the TelEvent. At the time of the seminar (or even 10 minutes beforehand, is even better), click on the link and add your passcode. Then you’re in!

Q: I can’t make the LIVE webinar. Will there be a recording?

A: Yes, you will be sent a link by email to the replay after the TelEvent.

Q: How do I ask a question for Jane to answer during the call?

A: You’ll see on the page a box where you can type in the question. We will give you instructions during the seminar. We’ll do our best to answer as many questions as possible during the LIVE seminar.

Q: Can I submit my question for Jane before the call?

A: Sure. You can send them by email here.

Q: Do I need any special equipment?

A: No. Nothing special is needed.

Q: When do I get access information after I register?

A: After you register, you’ll be sent an email with the information, and a reminder email before the call. Please be patient if you don’t hear from us immediately. If you don’t hear within an hour or so, you can send us an email by clicking here.

Click to Register for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller

Jane Heller Event Page

The Women's Eye Events Logo

 Thank you for joining us for this TWE TelEvent with Jane Heller:
Tips for Caregivers: From Someone Who’s Been There

Below is the Replay of the interview and Q&A with Jane Heller in conversation with TWE Radio host, Stacey Gualandi. We’ve also included links to caregiver organizations that may be of help to you.

As a long-time caregiver (and New York Times bestselling author of romantic comedies), Jane provided excellent advice and practical tips gathered from her experience, the experiences of others as well as experts featured in her Caregiver’s Survival Guide, You’d Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You.

Jane graciously agreed to answer questions we didn’t get to during the show.

To read the additional Q&A, Click HERE.

Enjoy the Replay! (Just click the button!)

Click to Listen

WOULD YOU LIKE TO WRITE TO JANE?
Click HERE to contact her through her website

ORGANIZATIONS FOR CAREGIVERS
SaneApproach.comSite mentioned by Jane
Caregiveraction.org
Caregiving.org

Jane-Heller-Stacey-Gualandi-Slide-Welcome-300

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUY YOUR COPY OF JANE’S BOOK

From Independent Bookstores
Indiebound

Buy the Ebook

Interview: Novelist Jane Heller on Finding Humor in Caregiving

Jane Heller, romance novelist and author of "You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Guide"

By Stacey Gualandi/April 6, 2013
TWITTER: @janeheller1

Popular author Jane Heller has taken a slight detour from her romantic novels to bring us a new caregiver’s survival guide called You Better Not Die or I’ll Kill You.

“I think we all need to have certain guides to lead us. We don’t have a manual for raising kids or elderly parents or for being a caregiver.  So that’s what I wanted this book to do.”   Jane Heller

Jane started out as a publicist representing authors. Now, thirteen very humorous romance books later, she is an acclaimed writer herself. After reading her guide, I am amazed at how she has kept her sense of humor while being her husband’s caregiver for many years.

You can tell by the title of her book that Jane is certainly not letting the stress and strain get her down completely. She recently shared some valuable tips and a new outlook on caregiving with me in this excerpt of our interview on The Women’s Eye Radio Show…  [Read more…]

Jane Heller, Romance Novelist and Author of Caregiver’s Guide, ‘You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You”

February 13, 2013

Jane Heller, author of "You'd Better Not Die Or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Guide"

Jane Heller

 

Click Me to hear the interviewClick to Listen!

 

Jane Heller, popular romance novelist and author her funny, yet serious, book about one of the most important roles in her life, You’d Better Not Die Or I’ll Kill You: A Caregiver’s Guide